He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
