He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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