If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
