Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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