I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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