shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wish i was in the wii world.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
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Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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