Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
