I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
