just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize