Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You ate ashes out of my bong
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
