If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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