He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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