Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
