Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
