i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
