I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Say something about gay babies.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Dear god my vagina.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
