sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
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