What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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