Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
