you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
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I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
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I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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