a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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