oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
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I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
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I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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