singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
