well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
