Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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