i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
