What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
