I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
