Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
