What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
