Duck Duck Cougar?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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