If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
