I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I deserve this hangover.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
