are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
