i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
