Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
