Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
