Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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