Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
