weddingsv make me drug and hornr
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize