just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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