I just made out with a guy for $7.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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