I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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