She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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