I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
We have started to decorate penises.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
