Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
