YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
