Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
