Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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