He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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