North Korea, Best Korea!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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