Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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