One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
BRING THE BAGELS
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
