The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I CAN MOONWALK!
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
