i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I haven't been this sober since birth.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
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