Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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