so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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