I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
