just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
