Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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