They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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