Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
