my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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